"Love is patient, love is kind; it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs; love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth; always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres."
1 Corinthians 13:4-6
First of all I would like to say that love is a beautiful thing. You always read books, hear songs, or watch movies that show you what a wonderful thing it is. Every little girl spends her days dreaming of her prince charming, and every guy spends there time wondering if the right girl is ever going to come along. That's the thing though, we all just sit around and wait. Waiting is going to get boring and it's going to cause you to pursue the wrong people because you're more interested in someone caring for you than you are about making sure they're absolutely the right person to date. In order to have a successful relationship with someone you must first seek a relationship with God. Once you have fallen completely in love with God then he will send you the person that is going to be your other half, but only when he sees that you can handle it.
The thing about dating is that hardly anyone actually takes it seriously anymore. Dating isn't even that big of a commitment anymore because the mindset of everyone is "it's just dating, its not like we are getting married, if it doesn't work i'll just break up with them." I understand that you date before getting married because you have to figure out if you guys can actually work, but a relationship shouldn't be treated so lightly. I don't know about y'all, but when I date someone it's because I can see myself with them for a very long time. I can't date someone for a few weeks, or even months, and just break up with them. That's pointless. You should have an idea of whether it could work out or not before you ever even jump into a relationship. That's the first step
When I was at church camp one year I had to make a list of 10 things I was looking for in a guy and so this was my list:
1. He has to be a Christian with a really strong faith. I want him to be able to encourage me and to hold my hand and help me with my walk with Christ.
2. Artistic. He needs to be able to play guitar and/or piano and sing so that we can sit around and play Christian music and sing together.
3. Smart and focused on getting his education so that he can have a good job. I've always dreamed of being a wife to either a doctor, orthodontist, or youth pastor. So he should be well educated for whatever he aspires to be.
4. Taller than me. I'm pretty short so this isn't a lot to ask from a guy, I just want to be able to look up into his eyes.
5. Nice because I am getting tired of boys being mean to me.
6. Enjoys community service, I like helping out whenever I can, so if he liked to volunteer with me that'd be pretty cool.
7. Blue eyes. I have brown eyes and I don't really like them that much. Blue eyes are just cooler to look at.
8. Good teeth, because teeth are SO important.
9. Athletic. I come from an athletic family, we all had our sports. I can't marry a man who doesn't love sports and wont be able to teach our future children how to play baseball or basketball.
10. Have a nice family. I'm tired of dating guys who have families that don't even give me a chance. I'm a really nice person when people give me a chance, but lately I guess guys families just decide that they want to hate me without even talking to me. It's cool though.
I kid you not, that was the list I wrote down. When we finished our list the lady who was teaching us told us about how she had made a list when she was young about what she wanted in a guy. She told us that she even put that she would like for him to be Canadian just because she thought it'd be cool. She was a very dedicated Christian. One day God sent her a man and that guy was everything she was looking for right down to the Canadian part. That was so cool to me how God gave her everything she wanted. God has someone out there for you who is everything you want in a partner. That's the second step though, figuring out what you want.
After you've developed a solid relationship with God and you decided on what you want in a significant other then I feel like God will send you someone. Don't just settle for anyone though. Even if that person has all of the qualities you've been searching for make sure you pray about it. Pray to God and ask him if dating this person is what he wants to happen. Praying always works and he will give you your answer. I beg you not to jump into a relationship without praying about it, that's the worst thing you could possibly do. So, step 3 is prayer is key.
Once you've done everything you can to make sure that person is actually worth dating you can finally date them. Don't let that be the end of the praying and getting closer to God. Now it's your job to encourage your partner and help them in any way you can. Y'all have to be looking out for each other now. Praying together, studying the bible together, pushing each other to be the best Christians that y'all can be. That is key to a successful relationship. If you do all of this your relationship will last. If it makes God smile and it glorifies him, it's a relationship worth keeping.
I know all of this seems like a lot to do just to date someone, but it's actually very helpful. My friends know I don't get crushes easily. I may think someone is attractive, but I never consider dating someone unless I am absolutely sure they are who I want. Just please be cautious with your heart, only give it to someone who has given there heart to God. All of this information I felt needed to be shared with you all, because even I had to remind myself on how to handle this kind of stuff. It's not always easy to be patient, but please make sure you're dating to marry and that you aren't with someone who isn't right for you. Most importantly, make sure your relationship is satisfying to God as well as both of you. If you aren't keeping these things in mind you're wasting your time. Don't chase the person, chase God so yall can do it hand in hand that way your relationship will be everlasting.
XOXO
Kirby Madyson Swaims
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